Tag Archives: failure

Protect Your Feelings

3 Jan

Protect Your Feelings Photo

Hello wonderful people. I know, I know I’ve fallen off the face of the earth. Truth be told I stepped on a pile of clothes in my room and got sucked into a vortex of college stuff, sweatpants, flats, club stilettos, normal stilettos, professionalish stilettos, church stilettos, wedges, college T-shirts, button downs, old textbooks, my computer, 50 shopping bags (yes I know I have a shopping problem), tissues full of tears during my unemployed stage, my jailbird Halloween dress, job applications to stores at the mall, my little sister and anything and everything else. Honestly, I think the fact that I was able to find my way out of this cyclone in only a few months is worth an Olympic medal. And I’m not talking bronze or silver or even gold. For this profound accomplishment I deserve a platinum diamond medal. So while I wait for the Olympic judges to send me my medal I’ll share with you one of the most important things I learned while I was fighting for my existence against the vortex.

First of all, I am no longer unemployed. Praise God! But do not worry your pretty little head; for those of my bffls who are still unemployed the struggle will soon end. I promise. And for those of you who are questioning my credibility to still be able to understand the unemployed problems now that I have a job, off with your heads. My post grad struggle has been realer than The Real World, Love and Hip Hop (NY and ATL), the Real Housewives and Keeping up with the Kardashians. Well, maybe not the Kardashians those bitches are crazy. But either way, I have more credibility than Visa, MasterCard, Discover and American Express combined. Trust me dahling! And to prove it I’m going to share with you my foolproof way to ensure that you don’t end up like Rich Homie Quan feeling some type of way when you do not get a job, again, again and again.

The most important point to understand is that the odds are against you my friend. And not in a fun I accept the challenge kind of way but a seemingly impossible to overcome kind of way. As of June 2013, the unemployment rate was 7.6% and the unemployment rate before the financial crash of 2008 was 4.7%. This past summer the government shut down. Let that sink in for a moment people. The whole entire United States of America’s government shut shit down and not in a good way. Back in the day and by back in the day I mean before this whole deficit thing came into the picture, college graduates could depend on a possible job with the U.S. government if nothing else worked out. Not only are businesses downsizing but the United States Federal freaking government temporarily eliminated everyone. How do people expect us to find jobs when one of the biggest job markets just stopped providing jobs temporarily? See, I told you seemingly impossible.

Second, look at the number of new graduates that entered the job market in May of 2013, 1.8 million to be exact. So now you are competing with all of these other people and many of them were the president of their student council or fraternity, volunteered and have a 2.5 or higher GPA just like you. And as a recent college grad more than likely you (don’t worry I am definitely included in this you) lack experience. And you know what jobs want? That’s right mother fluffing experience.

I know you are amazingly wonderful (obviously because you’re my friend) but there will always be someone better than you. More qualified with more connections and more of that damn experience. So if you remember that and these next few things I can promise you that you will not lose your mind or your confidence as you keep hearing no over and over again.

1. Don’t get excited when you get an interview or a call back from a job you applied for. Yes, you are one step closer to possibly being employed but that call back or interview could also end in a big fat no. I know you are thinking London, did you wake up on the wrong side of the bed this morning? Did someone try to take away your Chanel? No, since I am your real friend I am being brutally honest with you as I wish someone had been with me. Completely honest about how confidence crushing this whole experience is.

2. Apply for anything and everything. As college grads we usually just apply for things that we want to do or are in our desired field which makes sense because it is what we are interested in. However, due to the fact that we lack experience we need to be applying for everything we possibly could get hired for. If you have an art minor start applying for positions at museums and other artsy places. Currently my job is not in my desired field. In fact if you said, London after you graduate you will end up working in the higher education field; I would have told you do not wish such unfabulous things on my life. But now that I am here and have put it in perspective (the perspective being it was the only offer I got) I took it. And it is not the end of the world. Just like if you get an offer that is not in your field it will not be the end of the world either.

3. You have got to check your ego at the graduation stage and eat a nice big juicy piece of humble pie. Personally, I prefer a humble drink maybe a lemon drop that sounds humbling. You know what else is humbling? Tequila! Jose Cuervo will have you sharing your last chicken nugget with the homeless man you walk past every day. Anyway, that “I have a bachelor’s degree I should not have to do that kind of job” will not work if you want to be employed. Swallow your pride and apply for those “just for right now” jobs. Go ahead and apply to places like Bath and Body Works. At least you’ll have some sort of income but more importantly it is their semiannual sale and you will get a great discount on the stuff that’s already on sale! By working there at least you will smell like you have your life together.

4. If you can help it only talk about your unemployment struggles with your friends. You will stress your parents out if you talk to them about how real the struggle is.; and stressed out parents usually equal an annoyed or stressed out child. In their heads they will see their currently 22 year old child at 32 (yes they just aged you ten years unnecessarily and yes that is incredibly rude of them) still living in their home, eating their food, using their electricity, showers and all the other perks of living at home. Also, parents do not understand the 2K13 college grad unemployment struggle and trying to explain it to them is more tiring and frustrating that applying for jobs online. So just continue to tell them you are working on it and they will be the first to know of any changes in your employment status.

5. Don’t compare your success or lack thereof to your friends, acquaintances or other people you know. You have no idea what is in store for you so do NOT waste your energy doubting yourself because you are not on their “level” yet. Besides with filters, Photoshop and social media people can appear to be something that they are not. So there is no need to stress over things that could be false. According to Theodore Roosevelt, “comparison is the thief of joy” and I could not agree more with him. Just live your life for you, focus on your goals, your aspirations; wants and desires; and happiness will come chasing you.

If you follow these guidelines I cannot promise you that you will be employed tomorrow but what I can guarantee is that your feelings and confidence level will be protected and you will not feel like taking shots of Everclear every time you get denied from another opportunity. Remember that the universe and the higher powers that be know what they are doing and when the opportunity is right for you. That is the one you will get. Lesson Learned.

Photo Credit: http://www.flickr.com/photos/35654668@N08/4312137901/”>neohypofilms</a> 

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