Tag Archives: college grad

I am my Boss’ Bitch

5 Nov

 

Woman answering multipe phones black and white

 

Now that I am a working woman I have responsibilities. And these responsibilities include getting to work on time, responding to emails, dressing appropriately, acting professional, not cursing people out when they try my patience, planning events, approving timecards and leaving at 5pm. Not 3, 2 or unfortunately 10am. But 5pm; unless I work through lunch then I’m out of that bitch at 4 o’clock on the dot. Oh and I forgot the biggest responsibility of them all: being my boss’ bitch.

In case we haven’t met before, hello cruel world my name is London. I work within the education system. I wear twenty different hats at work on any given day and the most important one (at least for my success) is being Megan’s bitch. Who is Megan you ask? Megan is my direct supervisor.

She has thirteen years of experience in this field compared to my four, three of which I gained in college. She has a masters in this field. (I am on my tenth student loan payment for my undergraduate degree). She actually enjoys what we do and wants to learn more and advance in this field. I am searching for an escape route that leads to my desired field. She’s thirty and “established.” I’m twenty-three and confused, hung over and indecisive. She’s married and wants a child. I’m #singleinmy20s and think unruly children are an excellent form of birth control.

Despite all of these differences our paths have crossed in the form of me being her supervisee aka her bitch. I know you’re thinking London, working for someone doesn’t make you their bitch. But according to my very extensive work experience of one year this statement unfortunately is very true.

Over this past year I have quickly learned what my responsibilities are. I know you’re thinking: “London, can I call you Lo? In order to find out what your responsibilities are just read your job description and handbook.” First, no you may not call me anything other than London, Gorgeous or Queen of the World. Second, you would assume it is that easy but I promise you it is not. There is this four word clause in the job description that at first glance does not seem so bad but it is the phrase that turns you from employee to bitch. This phrase my darlings (cue scary music) is: “other duties as assigned.” See when you read it, it doesn’t sound bad. But trust me it is like your favorite MAC concealer, covering up the blemishes and making you look flawless. Underneath all the fabulous MAC is a bunch of assignments, errands, and headaches you do not want.

It was made very clear to me early on, the role I played in the company. I was the side bitch if you will. My assistant director, Harry, has a main bitch and a side bitch. That’s right you guessed it your beloved London is the side bitch. I do all the tasks the main bitch aka Megan does not want to do. So I do things like writing various reports, locating students, escorting students to different locations and even manual labor. I’m literally holding back tears from typing the “M” and “L” words and the horrible memories that have surfaced regarding those atrocious two words. Megan has had me do all kinds of things like drive to the store during the early stages of an oncoming blizzard to purchase office supplies and doughnuts for our office and students.

Obviously while I am doing these tasks I have time to reflect on 1. how shitty my life is and 2. what the hell can I do to not be the side bitch anymore. I constantly rack my brain thinking that there has to be a “quick fix” that will get us out of the bitch zone, the friend zone but for bitches. Sadly, I have come to the realization in my year working that there is no quick fix to getting out of the bitch zone. Everyone will work their way out of this zone in time.

So far the best way to expedite your travel process through the bitch zone is to remember that your main job, despite what your description says, is to make your boss look good. When they ask you to complete a presentation for them or do something else always give 100%. If you cannot do 100% give at least 80%-85%. I know we lived by the motto C’s get degrees in college but that really does not fly in the workplace. You have to give at least a solid “B” for effort and effectiveness. Although your boss may not give you the credit or recognition you desire they will realize, even if it is just internally, that they only look good/intelligent/efficient to their supervisors due to your efforts. And this will help you look better in their eyes and possibly set you up for a new position within the company or a positive recommendation letter for a job that is in your field.

I know that is probably not the answer or quick fix for getting out of bitch zone you were hoping for. But I try to count my blessings whenever I feel like the demands of the bitch zone are too much to bear. I remind myself that although there are several things about Megan that I do not care for, in the grand scheme of things she is not that bad. My rule of thumb is if your supervisor would not land a role in the movie Horrible Bosses then you have something to be grateful for. Megan has never inappropriately touched me, discriminated against me, created a hostile work environment or anything else HR worthy so all in all being her bitch is not the end of the world. Well maybe it is the end of the world but it certainly is not the end of the universe. Make sense? I know the bitch zone sucks, trust me I know. But in the words of Drake we have to start from the bottom so we can appreciate life when we get to the top. So for now I encourage you to cherish the “little things” and take in every moment of the bitch zone. So when we get to the top we can truly celebrate our success, think back to this very dark time in our lives aka the bitch zone and laugh. Of course the laughs will happen in between sips of my $30 Sex and the City-like cocktail. Lesson learned.

Protect Your Feelings

3 Jan

Protect Your Feelings Photo

Hello wonderful people. I know, I know I’ve fallen off the face of the earth. Truth be told I stepped on a pile of clothes in my room and got sucked into a vortex of college stuff, sweatpants, flats, club stilettos, normal stilettos, professionalish stilettos, church stilettos, wedges, college T-shirts, button downs, old textbooks, my computer, 50 shopping bags (yes I know I have a shopping problem), tissues full of tears during my unemployed stage, my jailbird Halloween dress, job applications to stores at the mall, my little sister and anything and everything else. Honestly, I think the fact that I was able to find my way out of this cyclone in only a few months is worth an Olympic medal. And I’m not talking bronze or silver or even gold. For this profound accomplishment I deserve a platinum diamond medal. So while I wait for the Olympic judges to send me my medal I’ll share with you one of the most important things I learned while I was fighting for my existence against the vortex.

First of all, I am no longer unemployed. Praise God! But do not worry your pretty little head; for those of my bffls who are still unemployed the struggle will soon end. I promise. And for those of you who are questioning my credibility to still be able to understand the unemployed problems now that I have a job, off with your heads. My post grad struggle has been realer than The Real World, Love and Hip Hop (NY and ATL), the Real Housewives and Keeping up with the Kardashians. Well, maybe not the Kardashians those bitches are crazy. But either way, I have more credibility than Visa, MasterCard, Discover and American Express combined. Trust me dahling! And to prove it I’m going to share with you my foolproof way to ensure that you don’t end up like Rich Homie Quan feeling some type of way when you do not get a job, again, again and again.

The most important point to understand is that the odds are against you my friend. And not in a fun I accept the challenge kind of way but a seemingly impossible to overcome kind of way. As of June 2013, the unemployment rate was 7.6% and the unemployment rate before the financial crash of 2008 was 4.7%. This past summer the government shut down. Let that sink in for a moment people. The whole entire United States of America’s government shut shit down and not in a good way. Back in the day and by back in the day I mean before this whole deficit thing came into the picture, college graduates could depend on a possible job with the U.S. government if nothing else worked out. Not only are businesses downsizing but the United States Federal freaking government temporarily eliminated everyone. How do people expect us to find jobs when one of the biggest job markets just stopped providing jobs temporarily? See, I told you seemingly impossible.

Second, look at the number of new graduates that entered the job market in May of 2013, 1.8 million to be exact. So now you are competing with all of these other people and many of them were the president of their student council or fraternity, volunteered and have a 2.5 or higher GPA just like you. And as a recent college grad more than likely you (don’t worry I am definitely included in this you) lack experience. And you know what jobs want? That’s right mother fluffing experience.

I know you are amazingly wonderful (obviously because you’re my friend) but there will always be someone better than you. More qualified with more connections and more of that damn experience. So if you remember that and these next few things I can promise you that you will not lose your mind or your confidence as you keep hearing no over and over again.

1. Don’t get excited when you get an interview or a call back from a job you applied for. Yes, you are one step closer to possibly being employed but that call back or interview could also end in a big fat no. I know you are thinking London, did you wake up on the wrong side of the bed this morning? Did someone try to take away your Chanel? No, since I am your real friend I am being brutally honest with you as I wish someone had been with me. Completely honest about how confidence crushing this whole experience is.

2. Apply for anything and everything. As college grads we usually just apply for things that we want to do or are in our desired field which makes sense because it is what we are interested in. However, due to the fact that we lack experience we need to be applying for everything we possibly could get hired for. If you have an art minor start applying for positions at museums and other artsy places. Currently my job is not in my desired field. In fact if you said, London after you graduate you will end up working in the higher education field; I would have told you do not wish such unfabulous things on my life. But now that I am here and have put it in perspective (the perspective being it was the only offer I got) I took it. And it is not the end of the world. Just like if you get an offer that is not in your field it will not be the end of the world either.

3. You have got to check your ego at the graduation stage and eat a nice big juicy piece of humble pie. Personally, I prefer a humble drink maybe a lemon drop that sounds humbling. You know what else is humbling? Tequila! Jose Cuervo will have you sharing your last chicken nugget with the homeless man you walk past every day. Anyway, that “I have a bachelor’s degree I should not have to do that kind of job” will not work if you want to be employed. Swallow your pride and apply for those “just for right now” jobs. Go ahead and apply to places like Bath and Body Works. At least you’ll have some sort of income but more importantly it is their semiannual sale and you will get a great discount on the stuff that’s already on sale! By working there at least you will smell like you have your life together.

4. If you can help it only talk about your unemployment struggles with your friends. You will stress your parents out if you talk to them about how real the struggle is.; and stressed out parents usually equal an annoyed or stressed out child. In their heads they will see their currently 22 year old child at 32 (yes they just aged you ten years unnecessarily and yes that is incredibly rude of them) still living in their home, eating their food, using their electricity, showers and all the other perks of living at home. Also, parents do not understand the 2K13 college grad unemployment struggle and trying to explain it to them is more tiring and frustrating that applying for jobs online. So just continue to tell them you are working on it and they will be the first to know of any changes in your employment status.

5. Don’t compare your success or lack thereof to your friends, acquaintances or other people you know. You have no idea what is in store for you so do NOT waste your energy doubting yourself because you are not on their “level” yet. Besides with filters, Photoshop and social media people can appear to be something that they are not. So there is no need to stress over things that could be false. According to Theodore Roosevelt, “comparison is the thief of joy” and I could not agree more with him. Just live your life for you, focus on your goals, your aspirations; wants and desires; and happiness will come chasing you.

If you follow these guidelines I cannot promise you that you will be employed tomorrow but what I can guarantee is that your feelings and confidence level will be protected and you will not feel like taking shots of Everclear every time you get denied from another opportunity. Remember that the universe and the higher powers that be know what they are doing and when the opportunity is right for you. That is the one you will get. Lesson Learned.

Photo Credit: http://www.flickr.com/photos/35654668@N08/4312137901/”>neohypofilms</a> 

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